Malachi's Birth Story

*Disclaimer: I tell it how it is, sparing no detail. If you're sqeamish, you probably don't want to read this. And yes, we had the baby at home on purpose.

Tuesday, September 22nd, I woke up at 4am with pretty strong contractions. I had had some false labor the Saturday and the day before, so when these contractions woke me up, I was pretty sure that my time had come. I got up after a bit to take a shower because I was pretty uncomfortable, and also because I wanted to see if the shower would make them come more regularly. John came into the bathroom when I started the water. He looked at me and said "Uh-oh, I know that pose. I've seen that before!" He went back to bed, thinking things would be getting going in the next couple hours. The shower made the contractions stronger, but they stayed pretty sporadic, coming every 2-6 minutes. I tried going back to bed, but couldn't get comfortable, so I went out to the couch. By 8, nothing had changed, except the contractions were now coming regularly every 6 minutes. They were painful, but not terribly so. At 8:30 I called my midwife and asked if I could come in and be checked. John went ahead and got ready for work, convinced by that time that I was not actually in labor. We went to the birth center and Amy checked me and said that I was 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced, but that the baby was not at all engaged, meaning his head was not low in my pelvis, putting no pressure on my cervix. She said that I could have him that day, or the following week, but that she really didn't think I was really in labor. She told John it was safe for him to go to work.

John took me home and I settled on the couch. He would have stayed so I could rest, but we wanted to save his meager allotment of vacation time for after the baby was born. He told me to call him if I got desperate, that he'd come home if the girls got to be too much for me. After a couple hours, my contractions stopped completely. Libby peed her pants while jumping on her bed, so I had to strip the sheets off and get them in the wash. I put her in the bath and she stayed there for about an hour. When she got out, she sat on the couch, on top of my quilt, and promptly peed again, soaking my quilt. Lunchtime and naptime finally came. I got the girls in bed, then climbed in my own bed, using my bathrobe as a blanket since all our extras are packed up in the garage. I got a good nap, and when Libby woke up at 3:30, I told her to turn on the TV and play quietly until Jaina woke up. At 4, my contractions began again.

I got Jaina out of bed, then took another shower. The contractions got much stronger. I went back out to the couch so I could time them. They were a lot stronger than they had been that morning, but they were still all over the clock. Some were 7 minutes apart, some came right on top of each other. I couldn't get comfortable, no matter what position I was in. They became so painful that I couldn't deal with the girls talking to me or touching me. So at 5:30 I called John and said "I need you to come home". About 10 minutes later I called Amy, my midwife. I was still able to chat between contractions, so she didn't think anything was happening (to be honest, I didn't either. I wasn't really paying attention to the signs. Can you tell?). She said she would get changed and get some dinner, then would come over. As soon as I hung up the phone, things kicked into gear and I finally realized "this is it."

I went into my room and put a gate up in my doorway so the girls couldn't get in, but could still see and talk to me. I stayed on my feet, moaning loudly and swaying with each contraction. Libby came to watch for a minute, then ran to her room and shut the door. I thought she might be scared, but couldn't really do anything about it. I tried calling my sister-in-law, Joyce, so she could come stay with the girls, but she didn't answer her phone. So I called Sylvia, my back-up, and asked her "can you come?" She said yes.

At this point, I was starting to get freaked out. Once my labors really get going, they get going fast. And I was all alone at home with 2 kids. I said a prayer and felt like everything was going to be OK. John finally got home around 6. Apparently, he didn't think I was in labor when I called, he just thought I was having a hard time with the kids. So he was a little surprised when he walked in and heard me moaning. He came into the room and ran around between contractions, putting a plastic cover and an old sheet on the bed and getting changed. He called Amy to tell her that my contractions were right on top of each other. She said she'd be right over. (She told Joyce later that she was in the check-out getting her dinner when John called and that she couldn't even hear what John was saying because I was being so loud. And the cashier could hear me through her phone and froze. Amy had to yell at her to hurry up.) I was feeling nauseous and half wanted to throw up. I knew that I was in transition and that if Amy didn't get there soon we'd be doing this on our own. I could feel the baby's head moving down into the birth canal and knew that if I laid down there was no way I would be able to keep myself from pushing, so I stayed on my feet. The second John looked out the window and said "Amy's here" I threw myself down on the bed and started pushing. My water broke just as Amy came into the room, at 6:16. She tore my birth kit open and grabbed some gloves, then talked me through pushing. I could feel his head moving out, then back in with each push. I gave one massive push and got the head halfway out, then rested for a few seconds before pushing it out the rest of the way. Amy said later that my resting at that point is what prevented me from tearing. One more push got his shoulders out, then the rest of him. Malachi Fereday was born at 6:23 pm, 7 minutes after Amy arrived, and about a half hour after John got home from work. Amy laid him on my stomach and started cleaning him off with blankets and put a hat on him. I couldn't lift him any higher than my lower abdomen because his umbilical cord was so short. So we got that cut pretty quickly so I could snuggle him and keep him warm. It took me awhile to deliver the placenta because I was so worn out and just couldn't push anymore.

Sylvia had arrived while I was pushing and had the girls well in hand, giving them dinner, then taking them out in the backyard, then bringing them in and putting them in the bath. Libby came into the room right after the baby was delivered, and was hanging out on the bed, asking all about the umbilical cord and the placenta. Amy gave me a "tour" of the placenta. I had never taken the time to look at one before and was curious about how it looked and attached and all. It was bigger than I thought it would be. Amy then checked my and found one tiny tear that did not require stitches. My first stitch-free delivery. Yay!

I tried to get up and take a shower. I hate being all bloody and sweaty. But one second on my feet and I changed my mind. I stood up long enough to get on a clean shirt and for Amy to strip the bed and put some pads down for me to sit on. Then Malachi was handed to me so he could nurse. He latched right on and went to town. John got the girls ready for bed and Sylvia became my food runner, finding things for me to eat that sounded good and would also get my blood sugar back up to normal so I would stop shaking. Amy spent this time writing down her notes about the delivery and also recording Malachi's stats. Her nurse finally arrived an hour after the birth, and she took over getting my vitals every 15 minutes and massaging my uterus to get it to shrink down and stop bleeding. After a bit they made me get up and try to pee. I'm not sure why, but they always want you to pee before they leave, to make sure everything is working OK. I sat, and sat, and sat, and nothing happened. So I quit trying and got back in bed. Then Amy broke out her scale and measuring tape and we found out our little guy was 21 inches long, just like his sisters, and weighed a whopping 9 lbs, 8ozs. Our biggest baby yet. Holy cow.

After everything was clean and straightened and I was well fed and the girls were in bed, Sylvia went home and Amy and the nurse left, after making me promise to call when I peed. John called Joyce at home and she came over for a bit. Turns out she was at her son's football game in Dallas when I had called earlier. John and I called our parents to give them the good news. Everyone on my side was surprised since I had called them earlier in the day to tell them nothing was happening.

Everyone was gone by 10 or so, and John and I settled in bed with our new little guy. We talked about how crazy things turned out. We got some sleep that night, but not much. My "afterpains" were keeping me awake, and when I did fall asleep, they would wake me up and I'd have a little panic attack that I was in labor again. It took me about three days to stop freaking out about how quickly my labor went and how close we came to John having to deliver him. My sister made me promise that next time I get pregnant, John take an emergency childbirth class, just in case. I think that would be a good idea. If there is a next time. I'm not making any promises :)

Malachi is just wonderful. He sleeps for 4-5 hours at a time, then has 2 hour wake periods where he eats pretty constantly. At night he wakes up once around 2, eats, and goes back to sleep. So we're actually getting some rest at night. John went back to work full-time this past Wednesday. Things are getting back to normal, and I'm feeling pretty good thanks to the 5 full days I spent in bed last week. Libby pretty much ignores Malachi, which is a vast improvement ovet the hostility she expressed towards Jaina. She talks about him a lot, and watches him, but doesn't touch him much. Jaina likes to give him kisses and pat his head and push his swing (not allowed, but she tries again and again) and today tried to share her binky (also not allowed). Thanks to his long naps, I'm able to spend a lot of time with the girls, making sure they get the attention and snuggles they need.

We are so thankful everything went well with the birth and that Malachi is such a healthy baby. We're thankful that my pregnancies are easy and healthy, and that because of that we are able to have the option of a home birth. We're thankful for the wonderful team of midwives at the birth center and for the time and attention they give us. And we're thankful for each other and for our beautiful children. We are truly blessed.