You Are My Sunshine

My Mom's dog has been very, very sick, and today his suffering will end. I wanted to write a post to cheer up my mom. I tried doing that over the phone yesterday, but ended up teasing her about killing mine and my grandma's birds. Am I tactful or what? Some happy mom memories, in no particular order:

Mom used to wake me up on Saturdays by coming into my room, throwing open the window shades, and singing "You Are My Sunshine". There was lots of grumbling, but secretly, I really liked waking up to her cheerful singing. I sang this song to Libby the other day while putting her sun pj's on her and now she requests it many times a day.

My mom was with me when I found out I had miscarried my first baby. She took me to her house, pulled out a pair of her pajama bottoms and one of my dad's sweatshirts, made me grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup, then sent me outside to play with Mezzo. Nothing like warm pjs, comfort food, and wrestling slimy sticks from your dog to make you feel not so despondent.

Mom went to the Bahamas with my high school choir as a chaperone. She took her duties seriously, but was also nurturing to those kids who needed it. On the ship from Florida to Grand Bahama Island, the weather was stormy and kids were puking all over the place. Mom said she was so buy she didn't have time to feel seasick. I, with my rock-hard stomach, and my only non-puking friend, Allie, were having a great time, until we had to pee. We searched and searched for a bathroom that wasn't covered in puke. I stopped in one doorway, not wanting to step in the puddle right in front of me, when the ship lurched and Allie fell in behind me. The heavy steel door closed, trapping my left hand in the hinges. Allie (after freaking out, then freeing my hand) went to find my mom. Mom took me to the infirmary, then tracked down the dads of two of my LDS friends, who came and gave me a blessing. Mom sat next to me and comforted me as the ship doctor used a wire pen thing to burn holes through my fingernails to release the build-up of blood. Then she found a quiet spot for me to rest, found some of my friends to watch over me, and somehow arranged for a taxi to meet us at the dock. We skipped customs, then went on the most terrifying drive of my life to an island doctor. He took x-rays, determined my fingers were not broken, then showed me how to bandage and care for my holey fingertips. He sent us to the hotel with a supply of painkillers. When we arrived at the hotel, check-in was complete and my bags were already in my room. Mom got me settled and I slept. I don't remember much from the week, being hopped up on painkillers and sleeping most of the time, but on the final day I was lucid enough to leave the room under my own direction. Mom and I spent the day walking around the island and shopping. I didn't get to do any of the "fun" things I had hoped, but it was a great day. I still have the yellow wrap Mom bought me and I still wear it as a skirt in the summertime. When we got home, Mom recieved the "Bahama Mama" award from the choir. After this experience I swore that I would always be a parent chaperone, just in case my kids need me like I needed her.

In high school, Mom would let me take "Personal Days" from school. If I didn't have any papers or projects due, and no tests scheduled, I could go to her the night before and say "I need a day off". We came up with this system so I wouldn't fake being sick when I needed a break. On my "Personal Days", sometimes we would just hang out at home, sometimes go to the mall or out to lunch, and once we went to the beach for the day. Those days were just what I needed to unwind from school and just spend some time with my Mom.

In middle school, Mom blindfolded me and took me out for a "blind" date. Get it? When we arrived at our destination, all I saw was the back of a large brick building. She walked me around front to a movie theatre and said "Let's see Jurassic Park". I was confused, because Mom doesn't like scary/gory movies, and she knew I had just seen that movie with friends the week before. I told her that and she said "Well I guess we'll have to see "Black Beauty" instead." We sat and cried and ate popcorn together and whenever I watch that movie now I think of that day.

When I lived in NC, Mom would have me come over on Kentucky Derby Sunday and we would hole ourselves up in her office and watch the pre-race show, picking our favorites for the race, based totally on who we thought was the prettiest horse. Then we would eat Cheetos and yell at the TV while the horses ran. I don't think our picks ever won :)

Each summer we would vacation at Holden Beach, NC. Mom would wake me up early so we could watch the sun rise and get first pick of the shells that washed up during the night. We would also go to the end of the island and harvest sand dollars. We would float on our stomachs in these humungous pools, running our hands just under the surface of the sand, and talk and talk and talk. Fish would nibble our toes, and hermit crabs would pinch our fingers, and we would steer clear of the sting rays trapped in the pools until high tide. Good times.

I don't remember this, but Mom says that when I was young and would wake in the middle of the night, she would take me to her rocking chair and sing to me. Each time, I would climb out of her lap, stand across the room in the dark where she couldn't even see me, and sing "I Am Like A Star Shining Brightly". Some nights I would sing HER to sleep, then climb in her lap and fall asleep myself.

When Mom was recovering from Cancer she would come to school and eat lunch with me. I was in the third grade. Before her hair grew back, Mom would wear a scarf on her head most days, and big, dangly earring. I thought she looked like a gypsy. I was so proud to see her walk across the cafeteria with my favorite pink scarf on her head, tall and strong.

It's thanks to Mom that I met John when I did. She had given me a ride to the Institute Christmas Party (she worked there and the students loved her), and wouldn't take me home until I had talked with all of the new guys. There was one in particular that she really liked, a tall, young man who was so polite and talked with her for 10 minutes. I just had to meet him, she said. I sighed, and decided to get it over with so I could go home. One thing led to another, and look at us now :)

Mom and my sister Lauren teamed up and did just about everything for my party, wedding, and reception. I was doing a summer semester of nursing school and had finals 3 days before the wedding. I remember picking out the cake from photos, requesting a few items for the buffet, and going to the florist and saying "I like blue and purple and green and white, and I want one of those bouquets that looks like a waterfall." Oh, I also compiled the list of who should get announcements, who should be invited to the ceremony, and I went to the tailor's once to get my dress fitted. That's it. They did all the rest. I just showed up and looked pretty. And it was perfect. All of it.

When it was time for me to start a new semester of nursing school, I was really stressing out. After my eye started twitching from stress, Mom sat me down and said "You don't have to do this. If you want to study something else, it's alright". It was nice to hear that she wouldn't think me a failure for quitting. So I studied English Literature until John and I moved to Athens, GA for him to finish his Bachelor's. That was my best semester of college.

Every time I visit Mom or she visits me, she provides me with another pile of books. We both love to read and she passes books on to me whenever she can.

Mom taught me how to sew. She loves to make quilts for her grandchildren, and helped me make my first baby quilt this past summer. Mom seems to have a sixth sense about what the baby's personality will be like, and chooses the fabric accordingly. With both of my girls, the finished product has made me say "It's not exactly what I had in mind...", then Mom says "You'll see, it's just right". And both times, she's been right. It's uncanny. I've been fabric shopping with her a few times and watch in awe as she pulls fabric off the shelves and throws them together. I look and them and think "there is no way this is going to work", but it always does. I hope time will help my boring matchy-matchy-ness evolve into something slightly resembling her ability.

Besides a quilt, Mom also buys her grandchildren their first stuffed bears. As soon as she finds out one of us is expecting, she starts looking for the perfect bear. Sometimes she finds it right away, other times, like in Jaina's case, it can take a year or more. She is relentless in her quest for The Bear.

Mom came to help out after Jaina was born. I'm not sure I would have survived that first post-partum week without her help. I was worried that she would think I should be back to normal right away (because I have unreasonable expectations for myself, I feel like others do also, when they really don't). I finally broke down and asked her, because I was so afraid I would disappoint her. She looked at me and said "My expectations for you are for you to rest as much as you possibly can, because once I leave you won't be able to!" And that's just what I did.

Mom, I hope these memories cheered you like they did me. I hope you can find your Sunshine today.