Halloween Fright Flop

Halloween is one of my favorite nights of the year. The candy, the trick-or-treaters, the scary movies. I love going to the ward Halloween party, stuffing myself with chili, and oohing and aahing over all the cool costumes. This year, all I got was candy.

For some reason our new ward didn't have a Halloween party this year. No one knows why, and everyone was disappointed. No trunk-or-treat. No room with body parts made of food. No haunted house. And no chili.

I thought for sure we would get trick-or-treaters come to our door, our complex is loaded with kids. So we stocked up on candy. Since I was the one shopping, there was no chocolate (one of the good things about morning sickness, I can't stand chocolate right now). I loaded up on suckers, gummy savers, gum, nerds, and life savers. I dumped it all in my frog cookie jar and set it on the table in anticipation. I put our pumpkin outside by the door, made sure the porch light was on, then settled down to watch a scary movie.

The movie of choice on Halloween night was "Poltergeist". I had never seen it before, so I was very, very excited. About halfway through, I had to turn it off. I mean, come on, man-eating trees are only cool in "Lord of the Rings". Nothing was scary. There was that one gory part where the guy imagines his face is melting and he starts to gouge out chunks of flesh with his fingers. Hey! I'm eating here! Geez. Anyway, I turned it over to Fox and wathed something called "Kitchen Nightmares", a reality show where some famouse chef (Gordon somebody) rescues a foundering restaurant. This place was nasty. All the vegetables were rotting, the meat was moldy and green in color, and they were serving this food to people! Needless to say, they needed help, and they got it, with much bleeped language on Gordon's part. By this time I had lost my appetite, so the decomposing rat caught in the trap in the basement didn't phase me.

Oh yeah, while all this was going on, not one stinkin' trick-or-treater came to our door. Either the parents were too weinie to climb to the third floor, or everyone went to the swanky neighborhood next door. So I sat in my chair and made myself sick on Gummy Savers, then went to bed, sorely disappointed with the entire 2007 Halloween non-experience.

The night was redeemed with a late-night reading of Michael Crichton's "Sphere". Very creepy.