The Love Of My Life

I was supposed to work tonight, but ended up coming down with a nasty virus night before last that is keeping me home for the time being. Dr. Chartrand thinks it's a virus, but gave Libby and myself scrips for antibiotics to be filled in a few days if we aren't better. Libby seems to be doing well, but has developed a nasty cough. Last night found me feeling about as low as possible, and today is not much better. Anyway, since I was supposed to work, our Valentine's Day plans consisted of John bringing home Qdoba for dinner. He got a BOGOF coupon from them for his birthday last week, so it's cheap, and I don't have to cook. We had no other plans to celebrate in any way, so I decided to do something to keep with the spirit of the day. Haven't you all been dying to know how John and I met and fell in love? I thought so :)

December 18, 2000. The Raleigh Institute Of Religion was having a Christmas Party. My mom, who was working there at the time, had some work to catch up on (I thinks he just wanted to party), so I hitched a ride with her. Big mistake. There was a whole passle of new RM's just getting settled for Spring Semester, and Mom wanted me to meet each and every one, hoping to get me interested in someone other than the dude I was hanging out with at the time (just a friend thing, no romance, but Mom didn't like him). I must have talked to 10 total duds and was so ready to go home, like NOW! Mom wouldn't let me leave (she was my ride, remember?) until I had talked to EVERY SINGLE ONE, and there was just one left "and he is so sweet, I already talked to him". Great. If your mom approves you know he's a keeper, right? So I grabbed a Krispy Kreme and introduced myself. He was tall, skinny, and for some reason, I was tongue-tied. I choked on my plain glazed, and flakes of glaze speckling my shirt, I walked away, totally embarrassed and demanded that Mom take me home. She did.

The following Sunday, tall skinny RM walked up to me in the hall and asked me where Sunday School was held. I went to what we called a "short bus" class (we were so PC, let me tell you) and was supposed to teach that day, and was running late, so I told him to just come with me. I thought he was hitting on me by asking (he wasn't, I was just the first person he recognized) and he thought I was hitting on him (I wasn't, I really was running late). After church he asked me where FHE would be held the next day. It was usually at the institute building, but that week would be at someone's house. Since he was new to the area and lived close to me, I knew it would be easier to give him a ride than directions, so I offered to pick him up and give him a ride. I warned him that my giving him a ride meant he had to come with me and Susie to our weekly dollar movie and he accepted. I thought he was hitting on me (he wasn't, he just didn't know where to go) and he thought I was hitting on him (I wasn't, I just didn't feel like giving a Noob directions around campus).

Tuesday he called me and asked if I wanted to come to his place (he was living with his brother who had 4 boys) and go for a walk. I snorted and said "no!". Silence. I scrambled to explain that it was colder than a penguin's patootie outside and asked him to come to my house instead. He came, dressed in an olive-green sweater, a different shade of olive-green cordurouy pants, a different shade of olve-green socks, and Teva sandals. I tried not to look at him as we sat in awkward silence. After 10 minutes, we decided to take that walk, down to the pond. That was the first of many, many walks to the pond. We did this just about every night. One night, I tripped on the curb and John grabbed my hand so I didn't fall. Then he didn't let go. Another night, he kissed me by the pond, under the stars. My toes curled, and not because of the cold. It was his first kiss. Not bad for a Rookie :)

Christmas was a day or so away, and John told me that most of his family would be coming to town. His dad is big on family time being family only time, so I was prepared to not see him for a few days. One night he called me and asked me to come over, his Dad wanted to meet me. Oh my heck, was I scared! I left right away. I walked into his brother's house, and there was his family. Not the whole family, but there was still a lot of them! He introduced me around and the first thing his dad said to me was "Those are some pants". I looked down and realized that I was wearing tight pruple pants covered in glitter. And my hair was cut way short, spiked with hair glue, and dyed dark red. And I was wearing black platform shoes. And don't even ask about my make-up. 20 minutes ago I thought I was something. Right now I wanted to die. I sat on the couch between his mom and dad, and John went to his room to wrap presents, abandoning me to the lions. Some small talk happened, and John's dad asked me if I was born in NC. I told him we had moved from Colorado when I was 4. He said "So you've lived here for 17 years then?" "No, I've lived here for 14". Silence. "So that would make you how old?" "18". John's brother-in-law, Trevor, ran in from the kitchen with his Cherry Garcia glued to his hand, spoon halfway to his mouth and yelled "You're only 18? John told us you were 21!" Could I please, please die? Right here, right now? Please? Everyone sat and stared at me. Tears started to well in my eyes. Then John's mom leaned over and said "They know you are 18, they are just teasing you". I stood up without a word, climbed the stairs to John's room, shut the door, and burst into tears, positive his dad hated me. I told him what happened, and he laughed! At me! He convinced me to stay, and after a night of games and laughter, we walked me out to my car where he presented me with my Christmas gift, a basket chock-full of Bath and Body Works Cucumber Melon products. My favorite at the time. "How did you know this was my favorite?" "I didn't". I gave him his gift, a star-gazing book and celestial map. The day after Christmas I left with Susie to spend the week at her house in Concord. It physically hurt to be away from John for that time.

It wasn't all roses for us. I had a fantasy that when an old boyfriend of mine got home from his mission he would come and sweep me off my feet and we would get married. I told John that if this guy called, that would be the end for us. How big a loser could I be? John told me in late January that his dad asked him when John was going to ask me to marry him. I said "well, when are you?". John launched into his "5-year plan". He didn't want to marry the first girl he dated after his mission, he wanted to see other people, get some experience of what he wanted to find in his wife, and in 5 years, if we happened to get back together, he might consider it then. Much yelling ensued (all from me, John isn't a yeller) and I told him there was no way I was going to sit around for 5 years while he got his "experience" on the off-chance that he might decide he wanted to marry me then. No way, Jose. This was on the way to FHE. We got to the Institute building, dragged my sister upstairs and told her everything. She left soon after and went straight home to tell my mom. Being the kind, considerate person that I am, I gave John his last ride home. It was a very, very silent ride. We pulled into the driveway, and I said "don't forget your jacket". John decided that if we didn't talk now, we never would, so he got back in the car, shut the door, and locked it. And we talked. I finally went home at 2 am. Mom was waiting up for me, sure my broken heart needed comforting. I walked in, said "it's OK, we made up". And tried to go to my room. Nothing doing, mom said, she wanted details and wanted them now. It took about a week of damage control to convince my family that John did not need stoning.

Weeks and weeks went by, with us seeing each other every single day. I was convinced he was the man I was going to marry. But I didn't bring it up, not wanting another re-hash of the "5-year plan" night. We made plans to visit his mission in Vancouver, BC for the coming summer. We bought plane tickets and arranged to stay with some of the families there. In April, my parents left for a Carribean cruise. One day while they were gone, John came over and we sat in my rec room talking. He interrupted whatever it was I was talking about and said "I want to marry you". I said "I know" and kept on with my story. He interrupted me again. "I want to marry you." "Yeah, I know." And kept going, wondering what he meant, and scared to get excited just in case he was only stating a fact, not asking anything special. He interrupted my story one more time. "I don't think you understand. I want to marry you." I started to cry and hyperventilate, and after a few minutes, noticed he was looking a little scared. He thought I was mad. I squeaked out a "yes!" and after much kissing said "I need to call my parents!" The cruise line informed me that the ship was "out of range" or that they were "unable to locate" it. You mean I have to keep this a secret for 4 days? Come on! It didn't happen. My friend Laura called that night and could tell something was up. She asked me if John had proposed, and I couldn't keep it in any longer. Sorry, Mom, but you weren't the first to know, I couldn't help it. I swore Laura to secrecy, and thankfully, she didn't tell a soul. (side note: When Danny finally asked Laura to marry him, she called me immediatly after she called her mom, about 5 minutes after he put the ring on her finger. Good friend) A few days later, Mom called from the airport in Florida to tell me they when they would be flying in to RDU. I tried to speak normally, but Mom could tell I was keeping something from her. She got all worried, thinking something had happened to someone, and my repeated assurances that everything was fine and that I was just excited about their return didn't work. So I told her. She dropped the phone, and I could hear her screaming in the background, and my dad yelling, asking what was wrong. He finally picked up the phone and I told him. He laughed and hung up. A few hours later, Mom came barging through the front door, yelling for me and we hugged and screamed and jumped around like a couple of idiots. John and dad had a talk, and all was well. We set the date for Dec 15th, 2001.

Then came ring shopping. John had not been planning on asking me when he did, so he was unprepared. After a very long and unsuccessful day of looking at hugely gaudy and expensive rings, we still hadn't found the right one. We went back to my house, dejected. Dad said he was going to BJ's (a wholesale club, like Costco) to pick up some things and why didn't we tag along and see what they had to offer? I refused, saying there was no way in heck I was going to have my engagement ring come from a wholesale club. Mom pressed us into going, so we did. I walked up to the jewelry counter, and there it was. The perfect ring. And they had it in my size. I ate a bite of humble pie, John bought the ring, and went down on one knee right there in the checkout lane.

After a talk with my Bishop (if you know you are in love, why wait? Get married ASAP), we bumped the wedding to July 21st 2001, in order to make use of those tickets to Vancouver. We called the families we were supposed to stay with, told them our change in plans, and they all agreed we had better get a hotel room instead.

July 21st dawned very bright and very sunny. At least outside. I had a bad, bad case of cold feet. The night before I had almost run away, planning to stay at the beach for a few days and coming home after all the guests had left. I was on my way out the door when my friend said that if I took one more step, she would wake up my mom. Not wanting to face that tornado, I went back inside and to bed. I spent the morning of my wedding day putting together a music cd for the reception, and realized that I hadn't picked out a song for my dad and I to dance to. Dad had no suggestions, I got mad, I cried, I probably threw a few things, but I got it figured out. Then came time to go to the Temple. I drove myself, and many times thought about driving right by. But I didn't. We went inside, and John's mom and dad met us there. John's dad said "I didn't think you'd come". More teasing, but I don't think he realizes how close to the truth that remark was. I headed to the bride's room with my mom and almost mother-in-law to get ready. I spent the time there telling my mom I didn't want to go through with this, that I didn't want to get married today. She told me to be quiet and sit still so she could button my dress. John's mom never said a word. Wise woman.

I made my way to the Sealing room, and knelt across from John. I wanted to throw up. He was oblivious. I don't remember a word that was said, but I do remember that as soon as it was over, an overwhelming feeling of peace and rightness came over me. I was "introduced" to my new family, and when John's brother wrapped his arms around me and said "Welcome to the family, sister" I broke down. My Aunt Trudy later said that I was the most terrified bride she has ever seen.

After many, many pictures at the Temple and at the Raleigh Rose Gardens, we went on the the Institute building for the reception, the place where we had first met. And right there on the floor were cutouts of our footprints, right in the spot where John and I had our first (if stilted) conversation. The reception was wonderful (except for the time when I burped after the toast - if that's not my most embarrassing moment, I don't know what is), and didn't last too long. We left for the hotel and Mom and Lauren later brought a cooler of food by for us, but made the bellboy bring it to the room. Poor boy was mortified to be knocking on the door of some newlyweds, let me tell you :)

About a week later we left for our week in Vancouver.

6 1/2 years have gone by, we have moved residences 6 times, moved states 3 times, have one and a half kids and a cat. John's dad still loves to tease me and half the time I don't know if he's teasing ro serious and have to check with John. Our first Valentine's day was filled with dinner out, special gifts, and much kissing. Tonight we have take-out, no gifts, and I am so sick John won't even let me kiss him on the cheek. But you know what? I'll take today over any day.