Because She Can

We went to the park again this evening. The weather today was just beautiful, we just had to take advantage of it. While there, a family showed up with two boys, one between 2-3 and one around 5. I noticed after a bit that most of what the parents said to the toddler were "Get down", "You can't", "It's too high", "You'll get hurt", and "You're too small". It made me reflect on the way we've been rasing Libby.

Some people think we may not have enough rules or boundaries in our house. Basically, if it's not dangerous, super messy, or really irritating, we pretty much let Libby do what she wants. She climbs, she plays, she explores, she makes messes (then helps clean them up), she pulls the pillows off the couch so she can jump off the couch onto the pillows, etc. We try not to say "No" unless we have a good reason. Every once in a while John or myself will question the other's reasoning for saying "no" and after discussion we realize that there isn't a valid reason for the command, so we change the "rule". One of my reasons for for this lifestyle is so that Libby doesn't grow up hearing "You can't".

Libby falls. She gets frustrated. Sometimes she gets hurt. But what I have noticed the last few months is that she tests herself, and that she is learning her limits. She doesn't ask for help until she has tried it on her own. And the help we give is not in the form of doing it for her, but showing her how she can do it for herself. When she falls, or when she fails, she picks herself up and tries again. Already she has learned a lesson that will help her throughout her life. And that lesson is: "It may be high, but I can try, and if I fail, I can try again, and if I fail again, it's OK to ask for help". Most importantly, she will grow up hearing "you can".

So yeah, my house may get messy. My daughter may not "behave" to your specifications. She may "get into" just about everything. But when she's older and she encounters an obstacle, be it physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, she will be confident enough to try to overcome it, and she will be strong enough to succeed. I believe this is one of the greatest gifts I can give her, to say "You can".